I apologize

That's right, I apologize for the things that I thought and the judgments I made before I had children. Don't get me wrong -snap judgments have their place but being a little older and a little more harried I have come to reconsider some of my previous opinions.

1. I used to judge people who had their kids close together. Until it happened to me. My brother and I are four years apart and it's always been an amicable age gap - growing up, we never really fought (although Peter will be happy to tell you that I tortured him to death by being bossy. I will remind Peter that I saved his ass a couple of times when he was underage. I think we're even). 3 years was the minimum I would even consider. I thought I needed that time to get over the trauma of pregnancy and subsequent labor. And yet, one day when Jack was just shy of 16 months, we found ourselves reevaluating our perfectly planned age gap. Feel free to use me as a later example to your children. I am not going to lie, it took me a good while to get used to the idea. No doubt, one day, reading these words will send Will into therapy. Sorry kiddo. But now of course we can't imagine life any other way. Will and Jack are already best buddies and partners in pseudo-toddler-crime.

2. I used to espouse my general philosophy (related to #1) that I would not even consider having another child until my first was potty-trained. Ha. Why did I think THAT was a good idea? Now as we start to think about potty-training Jack (which we are months away from by the way), I am reminded of how easy diapers are and how I don't have the energy to even think about potty training.

3. I used to scrunch up my nose in disgust when I saw kids (and in particular kids' hands) on the floor of public places. Now I consider it an important step in the building up of immunities. It's amazing what we tell ourselves isn't it? I will refer you to the previous post regarding the Thomas the Tank Engine show and accompanying pictures showing my child rolling around on the floor of the Ted Constant Convocation Center, as well as the picture below depicting Charlie and Jack rolling around on the floor of the ice cream shop just last week.

Just to be clear, this is very different from parents who ignore their children misbehaving in public places. I still judge those people. Jack is for the most part really well behaved but I have no qualms about packing up our dinner or leaving behind a full grocery cart (a la my mother in law) if either one of the boys were to start acting up.

4. The most obvious example is that sinking pit in your stomach upon seeing a small person walking toward your row on an airplane. I still get that sinking feeling, but now it's from seeing the blank stares of everyone else as we walk down the aisle. We flew a lot when we were little and my parents firmly believed that you dressed to fly. There were no jeans, sweats or shorts. We looked like we were trotting off to church when we stepped onto an airplane. And now I do it with my kids. I wonder if I am subconsciously trying to influence people's perceptions. See my children and how beautiful they look in their smocking? Don't you think they're angelic? Good. Maybe you won't hate me so much when one of them lets out a blood curdling scream at 15,000 feet.... The reality is there's only so much you can control. I still judge the parent of the 4 year old who kicks the back of the seat in front of him or the parents who bury their heads in the New York Times while their kids run wild. But any parent knows there's nothing you can do about a baby. And if you're trying your hardest and your kid is still having a meltdown, I will gladly order you a drink and try to help. Because there's nothing worse than having 200 unhappy eyes on you...

5. I still judge with the fire of a thousand suns the people who won't vaccinate their children. 'Nuff said. If you wish me to elaborate further I will do later. I don't feel like getting worked up now.

6. Lastly, I apologize to my parents. Although I was a fairly good kid (even though they called me PITA when I was a newborn), I had my fair share of eye rolling at comments like "I feel like it was just yesterday that you were just learning to walk..." or "When you have a child you will know what it's like to love something so much" or, my personal favorite, "Your behavior certainly suggests you need a nap..." I admit it - all of those things that were so infuriating as a child were absolutely true. I already say them to my kids and it won't be long before their eyes will start to roll as well...